MARY’S LITTLE CAT
By "Frustrated of Wickford"

Mary had a little cat,
It really gave her hell,
She smacked its bum
And packed its bags,
And called the CPL.

MARY'S LITTLE KITTENS
By "Chagrined of Chelmsford"

Mary Mary, quite contrary,
How do your kittens grow,
With worms and fleas,
And claws and teeth,
And litter trays all in a row?

AT THE SHELTER
By "Frustrated of Wickford"

Mary’s so called little cat turned out to be a whopper,
He took one hour to let her know his manners were improper,
He bit and hissed and scratched and howled, he really was a fighter,
But Foster Mum she knew a way to make his life much brighter,
A little visit to the vet brought all things to an end,
And soon this fiery fighting mog became a purring friend,
So all you Marys don’t despair, hit cats or get frustrated,
Please take your moggies to the vet and get them all castrated.

CONTRARY MARY AND HER CATS
By "Frustrated of Sandon"

Mary had another cat, with this one she was smitten,
But every four months on the dot her cat produced some kittens.
Mary viewed her growing tribe in growing desperation,
While neighbours viewed with some dismay the expanding population,
For homes for cats were getting scarce and the situation tense,
And every litter Mary kept just caused more offence.
The CPL gave good advice which Mary finally heeded,
To keep the feline population down it’s neutering that’s needed.

MORE OF MARY’S CATS
By "Frustrated of Sandon"

Mary’s little pussycat caterwauled and sprayed,
It wasn’t very friendly, for it bit and fought and strayed.,
Its face looked like a teabag ‘-‘ full of scars and perforations,
Where vets stitched it back together in lots of operations,
Then Mary got a good idea from the local CPL,
Next time the vets stitched Thomas up, they neutered him as well.
You can keep your tomcat handsome, as any vet will mention,
And save yourself repair bills if the tail end gets attention!

INNOCENT MARY AND HER CATS
By "Chagrined of Chelmsford’’

Mary had a pretty kitten, it was only seven weeks,
It looked just like a tiger and it ate just like a pig,
Soon her little kitten grew into a strapping cat,
It ate more than ever and started growing fat,
Then one morning Mary looked and got a big surprise,
There were seven kittens right before her eyes,
I don’t know how it happened, how can she be a mother?
She’s never met a tomcat — other than her brother!

Mary had a little cat which had a huge great tum
And lots of little rice grains sticking to its bum,
She took it to her vet who stood and scratched his head,
He told Mary what was wrong and this is what he said
I’ve prodded kitty’s tummy and it feels a bit too firm
I’m pretty sure what your cat’s got is a case of worms,
She needs to take a tablet, once or twice a year,
That way she’ll feel much better and her worms will disappear.

CONTRARY MARY AND HER ITCHY CAT
By "Frustrated of Sandon"

Mary had a little cat, it was a little twitchy,
Every time she stroked it, Mary got quite itchy,
Both came out in rashes from some strange disease,
That was simply remedied by treating them for fleas.

Mary had a little cat, it really liked to roam,
Mary got quite worried that it would run away from home,
There is a quick solution, I think you’ll guess what follows,
To bring it safely home again buy it a tag and collar.

Mary’s little pussy cat one day started sneezing,
Its little nose got runny and it kept on wheezing,
There is a very simple way to avoid this situation,
Don’t be a silly Mary — take your cat for vaccinations.

Mar had a little cat, snow white was its fur,
And though it was a dainty thing, it had the loudest purr,
Whenever Mary slept at night, her cat slept by her head,
Its purring kept her wide awake and shook her in her bed,
So Mary went down to the shops and bought a beanbag bed,
Her cat sleeps snug upon her quilt and Mary sleeps on there instead.