Cat for Beginners - A Phrase Book

Cat Phrase

Means

Miaow

Feed me.

Meeow

Pet me.

Mrooww

I love you.

Miioo-oo-oo

I am in love and must meet my betrothed outside beneath the hedge. Don't wait up.

Mrow

I feel like making noise.

Rrrow-mawww

Please, the time has come to tidy the litter box

Rrrow-miawww

I have remedied the cat box untidiness by shovelling the contents as far out of the box as was practical.

Miaowmiaow

Play with me

Miaowmioaw

Have you noticed the shortage of available cat toys in this room?

Mioawmioaw

Since I can find nothing better to play with, I shall see what happens when I sharpen my claws on this handy piece of furniture

Raowwwww

I think I shall now spend time licking the most private parts of my anatomy.

Mrowwwww

I am now recalling, with sorrow, that some of my private parts did not return with me from that visit to the vet.

Roww-maww-roww

I am so glad to see that you have returned home with both arms full of groceries. I will now rub myself against your legs and attempt to trip you as you walk towards the kitchen.

Gakk-ak-ak

My digestive passages seem to have formed a hairball. Wherever could this have come from? I shall leave it here upon the carpeting.

Mow

Snuggling is a good idea.

Moww

Shedding is pretty good too

Mowww!

I was enjoying snuggling and shedding in the warm clean laundry until you removed me so unkindly.

Miaow! Miaow!

I have discovered that, although one may be able to wedge his body through the gap behind the stove and into that little drawer filled with pots and pans, the reverse path is slightly more difficult to navigate.

Mraakk!

Oh, small bird! Please come over here.

SsssRoww!

I believe that I have found a baby rabbit or similar animal and I intend sit here watching it with a view to catching and torturing it.

Mmmrowmmm

It is certain that the best tasting fish is one you have caught yourself.

Mmmmmmm

If I sit in the sunshine for another hour or so, I think I shall be satisfied.

Mreoaw

Please ask room service to send up another can of tuna fish.

Mreeeow

Do you serve catnip with that?

Mroow

I have forced my body into a tiny space in order to look cute. How am I doing?

Miaooww! Mriaow!

Since you are using the can opener, I am certain that you understand the value of a well-fed and pampered cat. Please continue.

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