BRIDGE
Kirk:
Chekov, we're off to Cygnus Prime,
Lay in the course, warp factor nine!

Chekov:
The course is laid, is plotted, set,
But warp nine I cannot get.

Kirk:
You cannot get warp factor nine,
You must, you must, we're pushed for time!
Scotty - are our engines dead?

Scotty (intercom):
Aye, dead, defunct, alerts are red!
Forsooth! The engines canna take it -
I hate to say we willnae make it!

Kirk:
I can't believe what I am hearing,
From my chief of engineering!

Spock:
Captain, I have some suggestions ....

Kirk:
But will it help us? That's the question.

Spock:
If the engines are cross-coupled,
The power output is quintupled.

Scotty:
But sire the engines canna take it -
I say again, we willnae make it!

Uhura:
We're being hailed!

Kirk:
We're being hailed?

Uhura:
It seems Klingons are on our trail!

Kirk:
Uhura, there's no time for joking!

Spock:
A Klingon fighter is uncloaking!
It's not far from our starboard bow,
We must outrun them.

Kirk:
But how? But how?
Are our crystals exhaust-ed?
How long, Spock, before we're dead?

Spock:
Our shields are down,our engines gone,
Our demise will not be long,
Captain, I will calculate,
The time until we meet our fate,
Despite our ship's tough construction,
Another blast spells sure destruction,
With no power we cannot flee,
There's ninety percent probability,
That disruptors or torpedoes,
Will destroy us from so close.

Kirk:
Uhura, open hailing frequencies,
Klingon vessel, talk to me!
Why are you firing? Tell me why?

Klingon voice:
Kirk, today is a good day to die!

Spock:
I will go to the engineering deck,
Depleted crystals? I will check.
If the dilithium is exhausted,
Vulcan logic will find what caused it.

Kirk:
The Klingons are cross, are irate, mad,
They do not like us. It makes me sad.
Evasive manoeuvres! Use impulse power!

Sulu:
But that will take us half an hour!

Chekov:
We're hit! We're hit! We've lost the shields!
Shall we surrender?

Kirk:
We will not yield!
The shields are down?

Chekov:
The shields are down!

Kirk:
Now, now, Chekov, do not frown,
The shields are down, the engines dead,
No impulse power, alerts are red,
Uhura, what's our status please?

Uhura:
All decks reporting injuries.

McCoy (intercom):
Captain, please come to sick bay.

Kirk:
Sulu, take the helm! Bones, on my way!

SICK BAY
McCoy:
Captain, this was Ensign Quinn,
My tricorder say that he's dead, Jim!
No respiration - he doesn't breathe,
No pulse, but Jim can you believe,
His brain still functions, readouts show it,
It's life! It's life! But not as we know it!
Medically he's not alive ....

Spock (intercom):
Captain, I've cross-coupled the drives.
The warp engines are back on-line,
Tell Chekov engage factor nine!

Kirk (to Chekov on intercom):
Chekov, get us out of here,
Warp engines are back on line I hear.

Chekov (intercom):
Yes captain! Factor nine engaged,
The Klingons are mad, cross and enraged.

BRIDGE
Kirk:
Cygnus Prime - we're on our way -
Spock's Vulcan mind has saved the day!

Spock:
Technically that's incorrect,
The day was safe, not under threat,
I merely saved the Enterprise,
And several hundred human lives.

McCoy:
You're splitting hairs with Vulcan logic ...

Spock:
Splitting hairs? Now that's illogic,
I have no need to sever keratin threads,
Nor the filaments that grow on heads.

Uhura:
Captain, Captain, I've received a call
The Klingons are attacking one and all.
Things are wrong, they are not fine
We're to proceed at once to Indri-9.

Kirk:
It seems a war they are inducing
Does Indri have women for my seducing?

Spock:
Indri's a planet of class M
Males and females from it do stem.

Kirk:
Chekov, you lay in the course
Sulu, factor 9, of course.

Scotty:
Captain, I can not recommend it
If you break the engine, I can not mend it!

Kirk:
Mr. Scott, of course you can
When stuff is broken, you're our man!

Scotty:
I guess you're right, my Captain Kirker
that's why they call me "Miracle Worker."

Sulu:
Here we go, we're on our way
once again, we'll save the day.

Chekov:
The Keptin vill handle these problems major
Inspired by some Russian hero, I'll wager.

Uhura:
Captain, Starfleet's calling again
we will arrive at Indri, when?

Kirk:
Spock, you do your computations
I'm not that good at estimations.

Spock:
7 hours, 23 minutes, 6 seconds, is the time
before we arrive at Indri-9.

McCoy:
Mr. Spock, you damn machine
can't you keep your numbers lean?

Spock:
My numbers are quite logical
no need to become hysterical.

Kirk:
Gentlemen, gentlemen, if you will
save this fight for later still.
Scotty, can we get there faster?
I want to kill some Klingon bastard.

Scotty:
I've poured all the power I can pour
She will not, can not, take no more!

Sulu:
Approaching Indri Captain Kirk
Klingons in orbit, they do lurk!

Kirk:
A standard orbit will be just fine
'til we discover what's on their mind.
Hale the vessel, if you please
Let me talk to this Klingon sleaze.

Uhura:
Channel open, Captain Kirk

Kirk:
What's your business here, you jerk?

Klingon:
My business is just that, it's mine
if you want a fight, that's fine!

Kirk:
Mr. Sulu, raise the shields
it seems this bastard will not yield.

Sulu:
Shields are up, phasers fine

Kirk:
We must protect this Indri-9!

Sulu:
Captain, Captain, they are firing
Our shields they are already tiring!

Kirk:
Pump more power in 'em Scott!
Sulu, FIRE, I mean a lot!

Chekov:
Ve got him, sir! They're pulling avay!
Being Russian sure does pay!

Kirk:
Not so fast, we do not know
what has happened down below!
McCoy and Spock, you're with me
I feel we must beam down and see.

McCoy:
There is a chance we will be tattered
and I don't want my atoms scattered!

Kirk:
Bones, it is not open for debate
grab your med-kit, don't be late.

Kirk:
Who's the newbie in the shirt of red?
I hope he will not end up dead.

Redshirt:
It's me, it's me, Ensign Deek!
Out of the Academy just last week!

Kirk:
All right Scotty, beam us down
put us in the middle of a town.

Scotty:
Aye sir, aye sir, right away
hope the transporter don't give way!

Kirk:
Now we are in a foreign land
Mr. Spock, please do a scan.

Spock:
Readings indicate something keen
a power source I've never seen.

Redshirt:
Arrrrgggghhhh! A beam has hit my head!

McCoy:
Jim, I'm sorry, he is dead.

Kirk:
Can't you bring him back to life?
We need him in the impending strife!

McCoy:
There's nothing I can do here, Jim
except to notify next of kin.

Spock:
I must suggest that we seek cover
before that beam strikes us, one or other.

Kirk:
Good idea, my Vulcan friend
that beam our flesh it seems will rend.
I see a castle, perhaps a lair
but there's a canyon between here and there

McCoy:
Damnit, Jim, what should I do?
I'm a Doctor, not a kangaroo!

Spock:
I think the puzzle I can solve
with a little logic and resolve.
If I modify my phaser beam
the other side will soon be seen.
We'll simply walk to the other ridge
using the phaser beam as a bridge.

McCoy:
Spock you damn green-blooded geek
if it fails, we'll fall a week!

Spock:
I'm half human, as you're fond to say . . .

Kirk:
Gentleman, gentleman, let's be on our way.

Kirk:
There's a hundred Klingons, and they reek
to get in, we'll have to sneak.

Spock:
I will use my Vulcan mind
make them all feel weak and kind.
It should really be a cinch
if trouble strikes, I'll use my pinch.
My tricorder, it has found the power
the source is from that looming tower.

Kirk:
An ancient machine lies among the rubble
this must be the source of all our trouble.

Spock:
Yes, it has tremendous might
the Klingons for it, no doubt, would fight.

Kirk:
Spock, can you shut it down?
Remove the Klingon's motivation for being around?

Spock:
Easily enough, I'll just give a tug
to this thing that looks like a plug.

Kirk:
Reason to be here we now lack
Scotty, Scotty, beam us back.

Kirk:
I'm sure the lesson here is moral
about our nasty little struggle.

McCoy:
The human race is destined to excel
and we will, no doubt, do it well.

Spock:
You humans will, do doubt, succeed
but of we Vulcans you are in need.

McCoy:
We need you Vulcans, I should say
like a flashlight needs the day.

All:
A hearty laugh it starts to leak
we'll see you all right here next week.

Picard:
Sigma Indri, that's the star,
So, Data, please, how far? How far?

Data:
Our ship can get there very fast
But still the trip will last and last
We'll have two days til we arrive
But can the Indrans there survive?

Picard:
LaForge, please give us factor nine.

LaForge:
But, sir, the engines are offline!

Picard:
Offline! But why? I want to go!
Please make it so, please make it so!

Riker:
But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
The danger here is far too great!

Picard:
But surely we must not be late!

Troi:
I'm sensing anger and great ire.

Computer:
Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!

Picard:
The ship's on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire?

Riker:
Not me.

Worf:
Not me.

Picard:
Computer, how long til we die?

Computer:
Eight minutes left to say goodbye.

Data:
May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
Extinguishers from tractor beams
And stop the fire, or so it seems...

Geordi:
Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day!
Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!

Picard:
Mr. Data, thank you much.
You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.

Troi:
We still must save the Indran planet --

Data:
Which (by the way) is made of granite...

Picard:
Enough, you android. Please desist.
We understand -- we get your gist.
But can we get our ship to go?
Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so.

Geordi:
There's sabotage among the wires
And that's what started all the fires.

Riker:
We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
We need to go! We need to go!

Troi:
We must seek out the traitor spy
And lock him up and ask him why?

Worf:
Ask him why? How sentimental.
I say give him problems dental.

Troi:
Are any Romulan ships around?
Have scanners said that they've been found?
Or is it Borg or some new threat
We haven't even heard of yet?
I sense no malice in this crew.
Now what are we supposed to do?

Crusher:
Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!"
I can't just sit and let them die!
A doctor MUST attempt -- MUST try!

Picard:
Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.

Crusher:
They may be dead by Tuesday noon.

*COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE?*

Worf:
The saboteur is in the brig.
He's very strong and very big.
I had my phaser set on stun --
A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
He would not budge, he would not fall,
He would not stun, no, not at all!
He changed into a stranger form
All soft and purple, round and warm.

Picard:
Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
Did you see this creature morph?

Worf:
I did and then I beat him fairly.
Hit him on the jaw -- quite squarely.

Riker:
My commendations, Klingon friend!
Our troubles now are at an end!

Crusher:
Now let's get our ship to fly
And orbit yonder Indran sky!

Picard:
LaForge, please tell me we can go...?

Geordi:
Yes, sir, we can.

Picard:
Then make it so!

COMMAND:
SHERIDAN
Susan, Susan, Narn homeworld's fallen,
I think it's time to see the Vorlon -
I'm dressing up to visit Kosh.

IVANOVA
Oh my goodness! Oh my gosh!
Was it Shadows or Centauri?
Was the battle very gory?
Shall I send out word to Minbar -
Shall I ask them for a White Star?

SHERIDAN
Send a message to the rangers,
Tell them we are all in danger,
I will also see Delenn,
We are in a fix again.

IVANOVA
Tell Delenn and tell Lennier,
Tell them all about our fears,
But I have another worry,
Bester's due here in a hurry -
He's brought some telepathic cops.

SHERIDAN
He wants to catch us on the hop.
His psi-cops will make us squirm.

IVANOVA
I'd like to crush him like a worm,
He fills me with an awful dread,
He tries to get inside my head.

MED-LAB:
FRANKLIN:
I'm overrun with injured Narns,
The nasty battle caused great harm,
Some have injured arms or legs,
Some have cuts upon their heads,
Some have laser burns instead,
Now they've filled all Med-Lab's beds!

G'KAR:
My people need Babylon Five,
You're all that keeps our dreams alive,
You're all that lets our race survive,
You help the injured who arrive.
Centauri treat us just like slaves,

FRANKLIN:
The situation's growing grave.
Londo's just arrived with Vir!
What can they be doing here?

G'KAR:
Murderous scum, who let them in?
They kill the Narn like we are vermin!
Remove those creatures from my sight,
Else we'll have a nasty fight,
I'll break their bones and gouge their eyes,
I'll squash them like they're nasty flies,
I'll break their ribs, I'll smash their knees,
I'll crush them like they're human fleas.

LONDO:
G'Kar, G'Kar, I know you grieve,
I know you want us both to leave,
The Regent didn't sanction it, believe us,
What would warfare now achieve us?

G'KAR:
If Centauri Prime didn't give the order,
Why did your warships cross our border?

LONDO:
We arrived to give protection,
From Shadows heading in your direction,
We're sorry if stray detonations,
Cause such awful devastation.
Well now we'll leave - come on Vir!
I sense that we're not welcome here.

G'KAR:
What deception and what guile,
I don't trust Londo when he smiles;
The Narns don't want to be their slaves,
Centauris want us in our graves.

VORLON SECTION:
SHERIDAN:
Kosh, you must have heard the news,
Can you give me Vorlon views?
The Centauri have attacked the Narns,
G'Kar wants to take up arms.

KOSH:
Look for Shadows, unseen, slipping
Secrets into Centauri shipping.
I cannot tell you any more,
Shadows bring us to the brink of war.

SHERIDAN:
You must tell me! Darn it! Dammit!
The Narns are an aligned planet!

KOSH:
I cannot tell you, you must learn it,
For yourselves ...

SHERIDAN:
Darn it! Durn it!

ARRIVALS:
BESTER:
Let me through, I've information,
Rogue telepaths are on your station.

GARIBALDI:
Sorry Sir, I have my orders,
To escort you to your quarters.
It is for your own protection,
Your presence may cause insurrection.

BESTER:
I could rearrange your head ....

GARIBALDI:
I'd make you wish that you were dead.

MED-LAB:
GARIBALDI:
Bester's here, he just arrived,
He wants those renegades alive.

FRANKLIN:
Try to keep him in his room,
The telepaths are leaving soon,
They fly to a Narn community,
G'Kar granted them immunity,
He agreed this yesterday,
He asked them for some DNA.

GARIBALDI:
Bester is angry, irate, livid,
His face is flushed with red, quite vivid,
It's not a pretty thing to see,
But it makes me smile with glee!

COMMAND:
SHERIDAN:
What news from Minbar? Have we heard?

IVANOVA:
No news.

SHERIDAN:
No news?

IVANOVA:
No not a word!

SHERIDAN:
Delenn cannot be disturbed,
Her religious rites must be observed,
Lennier said she's contemplating,
She's in a trance and meditating.
The Vorlon had some cryptic message,
About hidden Shadow vessels.

IVANOVA:
Bester recently arrived,
Insulted Michael ... and survived!
For what the psi-corp did to mother,
I would like to see him suffer.
Have you had a chat with Stephen?

SHERIDAN:
No - is there some especial reason?

IVANOVA:
I've given clearance for departure,
Of a privately owned starship,
Stephen said that I should do it -

SHERIDAN:
He's helped the telepaths - I knew it!

IVANOVA:
The jump gate is open wide,
Look - the starship is inside!
Tell me, what was that in aid of?

SHERIDAN:
The rogue telepaths have made off!
They don't want psi-cops in their heads,
Franklin helped and they have fled,
They are safely on their way,
To give the Narns some DNA.
Narn won't let them be extradited ...

IVANOVA:
Bester will be angry and excited!

DELENN:
I'm sorry I was indisposed,
I was considering Shadows,
The only thing to stay their wrath,
Is the presence of a telepath.

SHERIDAN:
So if telepaths are soon on Narn ...

DELENN:
The Shadows cannot do them harm,
And their teleapthic detection,
Of Shadow ships gives Narn protection.

SHERIDAN:
But what of Centauri Prime?
Londo's life is on the line.
G'Kar says Centauri are to blame ...

DELENN:
Both are but pieces in a game.

SHERIDAN:
We are the last hope and the best,
Caught up in what?

DELENN:
We dare not guess.
We stand upon the brink of war,
Far more bloody than before,
Against the Shadows we must stand,
Humans, Minbari, hand in hand.