Dear Auntie Agony
I've been running Boyfriend 5.0 for almost fours years. Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0. It wasn't long before I noticed that the new programme began making significant changes to the accounting modules, which severely limited access to wardrobe, flower and jewellery applications - all of which had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention was made of this in the product brochure.
At first there was a degradation in service, but I have also noticed that Husband 1.0 has completely uninstalled several valuable programmes, in particular DinnerDancing 7.5, TheatreGoing 2.3, and ExoticHoliday 6.1. In their place, it has installed some new, very undesirable programmes such as FridayNightFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5.
I've also found that Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and HouseCleaning 2.6 invariably crashes the system. I've tried running Nag 5.3 to fix the problems, but nothing seems to help. Please advise at your earliest convenience! I'm considering uninstalling Husband 1.0 and going for Boyfriend 6.0 in its place!
This is a very common problem, caused mainly by a primary misconception.
Many people upgrade without really understanding that Boyfriend 5.0 is simply an entertainment package. Husband 1.0, on the other hand, is an operating system designed to run as few applications as possible, and certainly not in any kind of multi-tasking role. Further, you will find that you are unable to uninstall, delete or purge Husband 1.0 and re-install Boyfriend 5.0, because hidden system files simply cause Boyfriend 5.0 to crash without warning.
Can we suggest that you read the section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPF's) within your help screen? This is a feature of Husband 1.0 and an integral part of the operating system. To activate this feature, enter the command C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME. Sometimes this command needs to be run in conjunction with Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Apologise 12.3 and Flowers 7.8.
We would advise against excessive use of this command line, however, as overuse can cause serious GPF's and you may have to enter the command C:/OKAY I APOLOGISE before things will return to normal. We have found that excessive use can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5 and, in extreme cases, to revert to GoneUpThePub 6.1 and Beer 7.5. Beer 7.5 is a very bad programme that causes Husband 1.0 to create Fatbelly files and SnoringLoudly wav files which are difficult to delete.
You are advised NOT under any circumstances, to install the programme Motherinlaw 1.0, as this application is not supported and will cause the selective shutdown of Husband 1.0. Finally do remember that, whilst Husband 1.0 is a great programme, it does have limited memory, cannot learn new applications quickly, and will often cause errors. We would recommend that you consider the purchase of additional software to improve Husband 1.0's performance, such as HotFood 5.3, SexyLingerie 3.0 and the very latest Patience 10.1.
We hope this helps. Good luck!
Dear Auntie Agony
Okay, I tried the new packages and they were successful for a while, but Husband 1.0 seems to have an override function which I can't disable. I spoke to some of my friends and they mentioned something called BitOnTheSide 1.3. Apparently it's a well known recreational freeware upgrade if Husband 1.0 fails to deliver against the full requirements specification as laid down. I've been told by a friend that it can introduce viruses, so it needs to be used with care. It does have a really nice interface though and I can specify SugarDaddy or ToyBoy versions.
Despite what you said about multi-tasking, Husband 1.0 tends to parallel process so that its mind is on other tasks like the unwanted self-installed add-ons. Last night I used SexyLingerie 3.0 and then tried to run Sex 4.3 (with the Foreplay and Afterplay options enabled) but it wasn't satisfactory even though these options had been great before the upgrade. My friends say that BitOnTheSide 1.3 comes with all these options as standard! And BitOnTheSide 1.3 is a supposed to be dedicated OS - boot it up and it doesn't invoke any irritating subroutines such as WaitUntilAfterTheFootballFinishes 2.2 or RollOverAndSnore 2.0.
BitOnTheSide 1.3 seems come bundled with FlashCar 2.0, MoneyToBlow 4.2 and UndividedAttention 3.0 but it is necessary to use privacy and encryption routines when running any of these. Is it feasible to install this as a hidden backup program for when Husband 1.0 malfunctions?
Regarding BitOnTheSide 1.3. In the long run, it is detrimental to the system and can cause it to crash fatally with no hope of recovering lost files. You could lose a lot of data if the program unhides itself.
In my limited experience, the attraction of BitOnTheSide 1.3 tends to wane and you have to upgrade it to a new version on a semi-regular basis to maintain its performance and your interest. This is tedious and makes the whole system unstable and extremely prone to viruses and other system faults and failures. It very much depends on what you want out of the program since BitOnTheSide requires you to occasionally run a utility called LieDownIThinkILoveYou 2.7 which is fine initially as it gives you access to FlashCar, MoneyToBlow and UndividedAttention, but after a while it gets tedious and you may have to uninstall the whole damn bundle. Uninstalling can be messy and program fragments often pop-up at inconvenient moments and demand your attention.
BitOnTheSide can cause a unilateral uninstall, completely uninstalling itself from your system so that it can be installed on a different system. BitOnTheSide is designed to be a multi-user package (which may not be desirable from your point of view) and you have to determine when you can have access to it and when other users get to use it. This can cause problems as users try to hog the program and it causes a drain on MoneyToBlow and UndividedAttention utilities. Long-term users tend to be de-prioritised and new users get to hog the utility.
You could compensate by time-sharing between multiple versions of BitOnTheSide 1.3 installed on your system This is feasible, but trying to run several versions simultaneously takes careful time management and good encryption. Also it's good to have a BitOnTheSide promo edition so you can decide whether or not to actually install it, or whether to stick to PlatonicMalelFriend 4.3. it is sometimes possible to convert PlatonicMaleFriend 4.3 to a version of BitOnTheSide, but it almost always a one way conversion; converting back is tricky and BitOnTheSide tends to pop-up at irritating moments, making demands on system resources and sometimes threatening the function of Husband 1.0.
In some cases, BitOnTheSide usurps all of resources needed for running Husband 1.0, over-writing Husband 1.0 in a very messy manner and installing itself as Husband 2.0; with the added disadvantage that it has a built-in watchdog program which raises an alert if it detects future installations of BitOnTheSide.
Hope this clarifies things
Dear Auntie Agony
I recently upgraded to BitOnTheSide 6.0, but it caused resource problems which resulted in Husband 1.0 spontaneously uninstalling and taking FamilyCar 1.0 and SavingsAccounts 1.0, 2.0 and 3.0 with it!
So finally I decided to switch my Operating System from Husband 1.0 to LooseWoman 2.0 which means I now can run as many versions of BitOnTheSide as I like, just so long as I have good virus protection! Ithis solution may not be for everyone, but it's well worth considering.
No Longer Desperate