EXTREME CROCHET
What is Extreme Crochet?
It is the challenge of doing crochet outdoors; not just sitting in a deckchair in your garden like granny, but in "challenging" locations. Anyone can crochet squares, but can anyone crochet a two chains and a treble while riding a horse (and facing backwards), balancing on the roof of a fast-moving vehicle or simply stood in an icy mountain stream? Doing crochet while standing in the snow is another example - cold-numbed fingers or fingers rendered less dextrous by gloves provide a sufficient degree of challenge for it to be Extreme Crochet.
Why Extreme Crochet?
Because Extreme Knitting proved too dangerous. It soon became apparent that manipulating two long, pointed knitting needles while abseiling down the side of a power station chimney presented a hazard of stab wounds, even with large gauge needles. However, the compact size of a crochet hook makes it more suited to extreme locations. Wool and crochet hooks are extremely lightweight and portable. The degree of dexterity needed makes Extreme Crochet highly challenging. Biodegradable wooden crochet hooks and wool, rather than synthetics, are recommended in case you are unlucky enough to drop more than a stitch.
How?
All you need are wool, a crochet hook or two (in case you drop more than a stitch!) and whatever gear you normally use for rock-climbing, hang-gliding, base jumping, scuba diving, cod fishing etc. As long as you can prove that you've crocheted a few stitches as you've ascended, descended, plummeted earthwards, wrestled a shark, surfed the perfect wave or stood in the fountain of your town square etc then you've done Extreme Crochet.
The standard Extreme Crochet piece is a simple square, but there's no reason you can't attempt more challenging pieces such as a shawl, poncho or even a baby's set of bonnet, frock and bootees.
Where?
Wherever you like within the bounds of legality and accessibility. In its more extreme forms, crochet can be combined with another extreme sport or physically demanding occupation (such as sitting on an oil rig during your work break). If you don't fancy taking up dangerous sports or Formula One Crochet, you can do Extreme Crochet in any outdoor location: on a trampoline, in Trafalgar Square or while walking the dog. Crocheting while travelling on a bus or train does not count. Crocheting while on a plane does count because most airlines consider crochet hooks to be potential terrorist weapons; anyone making a crochet square risks being arrested as a potential terrorist (Guantanamo Bay Prison counts as an Extreme Crochet location, but gaols in civilised countries with fair legal systems do not count).
What do I do with my Crochet afterwards?
If your crochet squares are clean enough, you could make them into a blanket for a dog or cat basket. You could use it as an artistic talking piece: "that's the crochet I did at Everest base camp - you can see where I dropped a stitch due to frostbite." Many people simply unravel their crochet and reuse the yarn next time they feel the urge to go Extreme Crocheting.