The Sultan's Chief of Airborne Warfare is investigating the concept of "carpet bombing". This required adapting the standard Abdullah SR-6 Light Reconnaissance Flying Carpet to carry and deploy two "Insh-Allah" 20 pound anti-infidel bombs.

In desert trials, several palm trees were successfully destroyed by the one-man Abdullah SR-6; however the small size has proven a limiting factor on the number of missiles which can be carried and the leading tassels need to be redesigned for greater carpet stability.

The Sultan has therefore commissioned a study into use of two man carpets e.g. the Arabian Carpet 130 (AC-130) carrying stand-off missiles with infra red guidance systems. This carpet will have trailing tassels only, a gently furled front edge with innovative carpet-swept corners with twin Carpet Beater propulsion system.

Meanwhile, the Grand Vizier, Ahmed bed Linen, has been working on blanket bombing using the B-52 Security Blanket; undyed honeycomb weave, 100% pure new wool, stealth shielded blanket. This has a fully "pull up over the face" protection system.

Until now, Arabian flying carpets have been woven purely for civil and commercial uses. These include the fast and flashy "Fatwa" beloved of boy racers; the family-sized "Genie" with twin-tassel suspension system for a smoother ride, tow-bar for throw rug trailer, under-carpet luggage stowage compartment and under-front-furl drinks holders; the sixteen-seater "Axe-Mincer" used mainly as an inter-oasis Company Carpet; the Cargo Carpet and the "Jumbo Jihad" passenger carpet (variants of which are used as cargo planes).

The Grand Vizier recently unveiled the latest Scud Medium Range Missile Launchers. Based on the old "Bactrian" Ground-based Rocket Launcher, Kammall's "Bactrian-II" can launch Scud and Spitter missiles over short to medium ranges.

The Bactrian-II retains some of its predecessor's problems though: hard to position and aim; excessive kick-back and single-use only. The Grand Vizier has high hopes that these problems can be resolved when the new "Dromedary" goes into production in 2 years' time.

Grand Vizier Ahmed bed Linen took over as the Sultan's Air Defence Advisor following the execution of his predecessor, Grand Vizier Aladdin bin Sleepin.

Kammall also supply the "Llama-Launcher", "Alpaca Air Arrow", "Vicuna Vengeance" and "Guanaco Surface-to-Air Launcher" to a consortium of South American juntas. These were reviewed in Djinn's Bumper Bomber Summer Special.

There are still people in this company who think we weigh aircraft to find out how much they weigh, not to calculate stresses. Of course we need to know how much the thing weighs. How are we ever going to know how many Thrust Pixies we need to get the thing off the ground if we don't know the weight? Or should that be "Lift Demons"? Pixies have largely fallen into disrepute - something about Bernoulli not being representative in unbounded conditions and cause and effect being transposed in the Newtonian model.

In fact the use of Lift Demons on civil aircraft programmes is generally not that good an idea. The Demon binding contract tends to specify payment in blood or souls. This is readily achievable with aircraft of military function, but frowned upon in civilian circles as they may attempt to acquire payment outside of the terms of their binding contract. Lift Demons are not used on Elf bombers. We don't talk about Lift Pixies too often as it seems to upset the self-loading cargo.

Pixies require payment in cakes, flowers or nice thoughts. These are readily sourced either from the in-flight catering, or provided cost-free by the passengers. Clearly this would not work well within an operational military environment. Air force cooking is not renowned for the "light and fluffy texture" that Thrust Pixies demand, the availability of flowers might be problematic in desert operations, and nice thoughts may also be hard to find during times of active operations.

There is also a scalability issue. While one rampant Lift Demon would have few problems supporting a fighter aircraft (particularly if there is an immediate prospect of blood), it'll struggle to achieve level controlled flight of a 560tonne Airbus A380. Use of more than one Lift Demon on the same flight vehicle is contra-indicated (they squabble and eat each other). Communities of Thrust Pixies can be encouraged to work together on the same aircraft by the provision of advanced technologies such as Lemon fondant icing, variegated tulips or in-flight romantic comedies.

Ryanair once requested Leprachauns be installed in place of Lift Pixies, but leprechauns have a mission statement which indicates their desire for monetary gain, and their willingness to search all over the world for it. This makes Lift Leprechauns expensive to keep (gold vs lemon fondant icing), and makes it difficult to establish a regular route network as the Lift Leprechauns don't like to continuously visit the same locations. By law, aircraft also have to have a full complement of In-Flight Gremlins, but these are generally not a problem unless you feed the Wingtip Vortex Faeries after midnight.